danielo

Dischord, contrarianism, Cynicism, cycling, comedy, anarchism, guerrilla art, and other things as they arise.
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September 25, 2008

I'm starting an advice column about cats!

I seem to be running into a lot of "advice about my cat" questions online. I have decided, as a public service, to offer a cat advice section of this website, via this post. It's simple: post your cat advice questions as a comment here, and I'll answer them. And best of all, my answers are 100% guaranteed to solve your cat problem(s)!



Comments (5)
RunTrill007 said...
Okay, I'll bite. I'm sick of treating my cat for fleas every 6m onths. No one can give me a permenent solution. Help?

Sep 26, 2008

danielo said...
I recommend a large dose of strychnine added to a dish of tuna for the elimination of the common vermin Felis catus, which will, in turn, remove the source of support for the fleas. Voila! You've rid your home of two pests at once, permanently!

bikeboy said...
Cat Advice:

My Filipino friend Ben says they taste a lot like chicken. Back in the Olde Countrie, they just skewer 'em on a sharp stick, and roast 'em over an open fire. (After "cleaning" them in the fashion of any small mammal, of course.) He says you don't even need to skin 'em - the fire singes the hair right off.

Serve with a side of seasoned rice, and maybe some steamed broccoli. Mmmmmmmmmmm!

(I definitely have a love/hate relationship with cats. We have 2 of 'em, but oft times I wish we had none. Particularly their needing to "mark their territory" - it's NOT their territory!! - and mistaking my garden spot for a litter box.)

Ben Ulrique said...
My cat's missing, he ran out of apartment last night. NOt a sick question, but any help?

Oct 07, 2008

danielo said...
Ben -- You must be careful when opening the door to your apartment for at least the next month, as the vermin may try to return, and may lay in wait to rush inside as you exit. When winter sets in, it may be safe to assume the disgusting creature has been eaten or run over, and you can relax a bit. Congratulations on your new cat-free lifestyle!

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